Three things that made my week better

1) mujaddara

2) getting things accomplished

3) DEM STILLERS! PICKSBURGH GOIN' TO DA SUPER BOWL!

tea with a spoonful of neurosis

"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."

free falling

the past few days have been a crazy blur. so this is a little run-down of this week for me:

monday, around 3pm: ben, siggy, chris, and christy (cmc people) are all at my house and we're catching up, telling old stories, and making plans for the future. later, dan joins up with us and we head out for a night in pittsburgh.

tuesday, around 3am: after a great time, we all crash at my house.

tuesday, 10am: ben, chris, christy, dan, and i all have breakfast together and hang out before they leave.

tuesday, 2pm: two of our friends back out from the trip.

tuesday, 3:30pm: me, dustin, and trevor leave my house and head towards new jersey.

tuesday, 3:45pm: trevor starts feeling really sick, almost pukes, and we turn around.

tuesday, 4:00pm: we drop off trevor, but me and dustin stay determined and continue to head to jersey just the two of us.

tuesday, 9:45pm: we arrive in jersey! dustin and i went out for a bit then came back and crashed at his uncle's condo.

wednesday, 1:00am: sleepy time.

wednesday, 7:30am: dustin and i head to metropark and wait for kait, her sister, and boyfriend.

wednesday, 9am:  we make the train by about 10 seconds. after we arrive in nyc, we bebop around the city, soaking it all in.

wednesday, 1:00pm: we grab some lunch and lori and her sister join up with us. 

wednesday, 2:00pm: we went into the gated area and decided on our "spot" by the nivea stage (later we discovered that nothing really cool happened on that stage, just people making out). by 2:30, they had stopped letting people into the gated area, so we couldn't leave or else we wouldn't be allowed back in. so, no food, no bathrooms, just us and the freezing weather. 

wednesday, around 6pm: lori and her sister head back to her apartment. they had less layers, so i can only imagine how cold they were. lori was an angel and brought food from mcdonalds to the gate for my friends... i have never seen people more excited to see a big mac. haha.

wednesday, around 9pm:  after 7 hours in the cold, my body was not happy. maybe i didn't have enough layers, or maybe it was because i hadn't eaten enough (while nyc is a vegan-friendly city, fast food at time square is not). so, i got to a point where i was just shaking uncontrollably and the cold hurt so badly i thought i might throw up. it was tempting to go inside, especially seeing how many other people were giving up and leaving... but after 7 effing hours i was determined to watch that ball drop. health and safety be damned, i am too stubborn.

wednesday, around 10pm: "please know this is because i am cold and it is strictly platonic, but hold me and don't let go." we decide to move towards a denser crowd in hopes of it being warmer and that the wind will be blocked better. we ended right next to carson daily's stage. 

thursday, midnight, 2009: we made it through, saw that ball drop and got covered in confetti. something i'll remember the rest of my life.

thursday, 1am: we get on the train headed back for jersey. as we collapse into the seats, kait remarks, "i feel like i just ran a marathon." i think that is the best way of describing it.

thursday, 9am: dustin and i get up and head back to PA.

thursday, 2pm: we arrive back in pittsburgh. 

standing there in the middle of times square, i couldn't help but think how much has changed this past year. how much more independent and self-sufficient i've become, how much i've branched out of my comfort zone and had the chance to do some really cool stuff. 2009 is a big unknown for me... i have no clue where i'll live or what i'll be doing when i graduate, but i'm ready for it. most people i know are scared or intimidated, but i feel a sense of exhilaration. i'm young and i have nothing tying me down.  i'm ready to go wherever it is that i am suppose to be. i feel free.

i was curious how cold it actually was when we were there. according to wikipedia, "The average temperature at midnight in New York City since the ball dropping tradition began in 1907 is 33.7°F (1°C). During the most recent ball drop, 2009, the temperature was 18°F (-7°C) and 2°F (-16°C) factoring in wind chill, which is well below the average." Apparently, the winds were also getting up to 40-some mph. no wonder the wind was so killer.

In response to the lack of sleep, standing hours in the freezing cold, and overall self-abuse, my body responded by falling asleep on my couch last night at 7:30pm and not waking back up until 9am this morning. that is the longest i think i have ever slept in my life, haha. my face and back of my neck is pink from wind burn / the cold and my feet and legs are finally regaining color.

BUT SO WORTH IT.

a holiday poem

mid december, i finally gave in
and bought christmas lights
to line the house.
it wasn't the celebration
that left me feeling sour
but the spectacle of lights
it had become.

still, you convinced me,
that i spend too much time
fighting for causes only i
understood.
and, that my convictions
had turned from eccentricities
to flaws a long time ago.

and in those Walmart isles,
under fluorescent lights,
i felt what i had already
decided the day
that i first met you:
i would be the one to leave.

best of 2008 (...and 2007 in retrospect)

paste already gave its signs of life 2008. pitchfork has dealt out half of its best albums of 2008. so, it is about time i dished out my top 10 of 2008.

disclaimer:  there are more albums i want than i have money to buy. so there are a lot of albums that i didn't event consider for my top 10 because i have not  purchased them and given them a full listen yet... including devotion - beach house, microcastle - deerhunter, dear science - tv on the radio, women - women, let the blind... - atlas sound, parc avenue - plants & animals, april - sun kil moon

10: volume one - she & him

9: in ear park - department of eagles

8: vampire weekend - vampire weekend

7: house with no home - horse feathers

6: the rhumb line - ra ra riot

5: alpinisms - school of seven bells

4: fate - dr. dog

3: fleet foxes - fleet foxes

2: we brave bee stings and all - thao w/ the get down stay down

1: for emma, forever ago - bon iver

honorable mentions: all we could do was sing - port o'brien, all is well - samamidon, in ghost colours - cut copy, með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust - sigur rós, saturdays=youth - m83, the second gleam (ep) - the avett brothers, sad robots (ep) - stars, canopy glow - anathallo, caught in the tree - damien jurado, the odd couple - gnarls barkley

albums i feel show the most promise: nests - she keeps bees, everything is alive - pomegranates 

biggest disappointment: skeletal lamping - of montreal

2007 (in retrospect)
 i find it easier to create a list for 2007 now that a year has past and i've had the chance to listen to more albums as well as given a deeper listen to albums. now that the novelty has worn away, what albums have remained on my playlist? here's a look at how at my top 25 (plus a few honorable mentions) for 2007:

25: under the blacklight - rilo kiley
24: the historical conquests of josh ritter - josh ritter
23: alright still - lily allen
22: the stage name- okkervil river
21: person pitch - panda bear
20: wincing the night away - the shins
19: is is (ep) - yeah yeah yeahs
18: friend and foe - menomena
17: armchair apocrypha - andrew bird
17: flying cup - beirut
16: hissing fauna, are you the destroyer? - of montreal
15: in rainbows - radiohead
14: all hour cymbals - yeasayer
13: friend (ep) - grizzly bear
12: the reminder - feist
11: raising sand - robert plant & alison krauss
10: challengers - new pornographers
8: marry me - st. vincent
7: kala - m.i.a.
6: sky blue sky - wilco
5: the con - tegan and sara
4: ga ga ga ga ga - spoon
3: emotionalism - the avett brothers
2: strawberry jam - animal collective
1: cease to begin - band of horses

honorable mentions: hymn for a dark horse - bowerbirds, we were dead before the ship even sank - modest mouse, graduation - kanye west, made of bricks- kate nash, random spirit lover - sunset rubdown, friend opportunity - deerhoof, some loud thunder - clap your hands say yeah

when i grow up

i want to be zooey deschanel.

quote

"Let's set aside our weapons for the culture and pick up the first aid kits for the wounded."

(This is from a book I'm reading for one of my classes. While I don't quite agree with the author on all of his points, I really liked this statement).